A Piece of Peace

Last week, I was sure that I was about to be offered a job. The only thing left was a formality. I was beyond certain that it was going to happen and had been given every indication that an offer was imminent.

On Friday, I went to the Senate Bible Study and Chaplain Black said "don't do anything until you have peace." I immediately thought of the job. I knew I didn't have peace about taking it. But then I also thought "God, you better give me peace about it, because I am taking this job. I see no option but to take it. I can't turn it down." The illustration Chaplain Black used was even about a job he once had to turn down because he didn't have peace! I still stubbornly sat there and thought I could do it without peace. What was I thinking?!

Less than two hours later, I got an email that said they had hired someone else. Wow. I could have decided that I wasn't going to take it because I didn't have peace and do it on my own terms. But, instead God had to intervene and humble me.

What I have found so encouraging through this all weekend is that I felt like God was communicating with me. It has been a little while since I felt that, and it feels so... peaceful... when he does. It had been so clear that I was getting this job that truly only God's hand could have changed the course. God was telling me "this is not where I want you." Even a frustrating word from God is a word from God.

Accountability

My arms are aching as I type this. I'm seriously trying to avoid having to move my right arm all the way over to my mouse. Yesterday's gym time pushed me to my limits. My trainer doesn't always do my whole workout with me, but on the one or two days a week that he does, I am in pain the next day. What is it about having someone with you that pushes you to do more than you would on your own? Even just getting to the gym would be tough to do without the white-erase board on a wall in my cubicle that my coworkers and I use to tally each time we go.

On Tuesday, Starlette, who is supposed to be the one who keeps me accountable on reading the bible, asked me where I was. (We are trying to keep pace with each other). Well, just that question (and the embarrassing answer I had to give her) motivated me to read the entire book of Esther before going to bed.

The concept of accountability isn't new-- and this blog entry might be a bit cliche. But although we all know it works, we clearly don't all put it into practice. Why not?

As Americans, we love our freedom. Especially those of us who are single. That is the one thing that we think we have on all our married friends-- no one is telling us what to do and when to do it! I can go to bed whenever I want, hang out with who I want, spend my money on what I want... but is this "benefit" of singlehood really healthy?

Paint My World

My friend Sery always complains that I don't wear enough color. My wardrobe is full of browns and greys and blacks. I've tried to wear color, but I always feel uncomfortable with it. So, when Sery came with me to Home Depot to pick a paint color for the dining room, we somehow walked out with two cans of "Surfer." My dining room now looks like a Tiffany's box- complete with their signature white ribbon (the chair rail).

Why am I so averse to color in my life? I wonder if it is more than the fact that my pale skin looks sickly against banana yellow. Does it have more to do with all the drama around me?

I had a conversation with another friend this weekend about people's lives being colorful. I was telling him about what a blessing it has been for me to walk along side of so many people through their struggles/drama/pain-- realizing that to be a part of people's lives is messy. Each person has their own paint splattered, multi-chromatic, hectic, complicated canvass. But this "blessing" can be emotionally draining. Because I have felt for myself the pain of a breakup, death, job frustration..., I feel deep empathy pains for the people I care about and walk through life with.

It is tempting to want to keep my world drama-free and stay out of people's sticky lives. But isn't that the beauty of living in community and a relationship with God? He didn't make our world black and white. There are so many hues and if we see this world in all of its nuances, can't we then love more vibrantly?

Yes, Lord, paint my world. Let me see you through the hues of the lives around me.