Stop, Look, and Listen

This blog has gone silent for a while. I’ve been on a long, emotional roller coaster that so many singles find themselves on. There were thrilling highs, followed by heart-in-your-stomach drops. As I stumbled off the dizzying ride, I found myself at a crossroads in life. At the edge of this intersection, I decided to follow the words I was taught as a child before crossing the street: Stop, Look, and Listen.

Like any child, I wanted to run across the street. I wanted to get to the other side of this mess. I was so tempted to immediately make a big life change. Move? Quit my job and travel? Go to school? Instead of running away, I took some very purposeful time to move forward in the most healthy and God directed I knew how.

At most intersections, there are stop signs—shaped like octagons. One of my longest known and dearest friends came up with the Octagon Theory years ago. The theory was that an eligible bachelor for a Christian woman must have eight specific qualities. These qualities made up the eight sides of an octagon, which was supposed to represent a complete man, ready for marriage. I remember that the theory was that a person could have 6 or 7 sides, but unless they had all 8 sides, they were simply not a viable candidate for dating or marriage. I decided years ago, when the theory was developed, that instead of focusing on finding my Octagon man, I should be focused on becoming the complete person a man like that would need and be looking for as a partner. Of course, I’ve too often strayed from that goal, but it has been my desire—to be a complete person, not lacking of any “sides.” (For UFC and WWF fans, the struggle within The Octagon might be a good topic for future posts or comments.)

After stopping, the next step is to look. “Look both ways before you cross the street.” As God continues to hammer out my metal into the shape He has intended, He’s forced me to look at my own “sides.” I’m taking long, hard looks at my character, personality, and relationships.

And finally, I’m listening. These steps have happened simultaneously and are not in order of importance. But, in past life-intersections, I think I’ve too often skipped this one. This time God used a blizzard that shut me in my apartment for a week to force me to cry out to Him and ask “God, what are you trying to say to me?” And then really listen for His answer.

I was definitely a chicken. I was scared to cross the street. But why did this chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Psalm 84:56 sayBlessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valleys “ of Baca, they make it a place of springs.” Baca means “weeping,” but the joyful expectation of pilgrims transforms difficult ways into refreshment.